Sunday, September 12, 2010

Day 28: Thank God Tomorrow is Monday


I always feel a little excited about Mondays. In every dieter's mind, that is the new beginning. Yaaaaa Monday!

Ok. Yesterday: one pancake, two slices of cheese, tuna w/avocado in a spinach wrap, thin crust pizza topped with black olives, portobello mushrooms and extra cheese, a hefty shot of hennessey, and orange juice.

Today: Mangu (mashed plantains), fried cheese, scrambled eggs, butternut squash soup, two slices of toast, three little avocado wedges, and mimosas.

That is some light eating for an entire weekend. Geez I feel like I am forgetting something.


Tomorrow I have to pump up the pace. I am not losing fast enough and while I don't expect to race through this, January is a big month for me and I really, really, truly need to knock out at least 20 by then.

I'm strongly contemplating going hard with Dr. Ian's Extreme Fat Smash. It has worked for me before. For those of you unaware, Dr. Ian is a VH1 personality and also, wait...I will check the sec.

He is a diet expert from Celebrity Fit Club, a medical contributor to The View, a contributing editor for Men's Health and the spokesman for the 50 Million Pound Challenge. I am one of the couch potatoes that purchased his book, Extreme Fat Smash Diet.

Apparently you can lose 12 pounds in 3 weeks. Is it possible? Of course. I am going to try to do it again. I've done it a few times before. I never did the whole three weeks, so I didn't lose the 12. I did see results in a week's time.

I don't know if you want me to go into a whole Fat Smash mode, but I'm not using my blog to put more $$ in Dr. Ian's pocket. If you are interested really, I will blog about it. It is unecessary for you to buy the book. In fact, a good portion of you are my friends, so you can actually borrow the book.

On Fat Smash, you get four meals a day and two snacks. The meals are very precise. My biggest issue is the limited alcohol and coffee. One stinking 8oz cup of coffee for the day and two measly 6oz glasses of wine a week. What the hell? Clearly he wants me to pick up a new vice like smoking.

You are also supposed to exercise. I do that already, so I don't really need to read that part. The coolest thing and uncoolest thing is that I am really good at planning my meals the night before. The reason that is uncool is because it truly knocks the spontanetity out of eating. If I see results, and I mean quick ones, then I will feel better.

I will tell you this: my huge thermos of coffee is NOT changing. I probably won't be drinking wine this week at least at home, because I didn't buy any.

I'm getting sleepy, that's good news because I should be at this point.

I'm going to go put together tomorrow's food....let me give you a looksie. I don't know if I will be back on tomorrow..Mondays, despite being a day that I look forward to are remarkably long.

Meal 1: one egg and one piece of fruit (no banana, pineapple or watermelon) I may cut up a cantalope.

Meal 2: cup of sliced fruit (I have a can in the cabinet)

Meal 3: small salad (I guess spinach, that's all I have)

Meal 4: 1/2 cup of beans and two servings of veggies

Now the snacks...I LOVE SNACKS, BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL....there is a whole snack section on pages 130-133.

I'm going for the 6 wheat thins with 2 teaspoons of peanut butter and 1/2 small avocado.


If I recall, you wake up, have a snack, workout for 30min, have breakfast, and then a meal every three hours (with the second snack between meals #3 and #4, and another workout at the end of the day.

I did so well blogging this all out, I might have to email myself.

I'm really tired ya later.

I love me for losing, I'm on my way.


Friday, September 10, 2010

Day 26: Can I really rattle off ALL that I ate?


Sorry you think I forgot about you, I didn't. It has been a very hectic few days. Wednesday I went back to work, Thursday was our 3rd anniversary and today...well I'm here today, so stop yer bitchin!

Day 24: yogurt, toasted bagel flat, butternut squash soup, wheat thins, almonds, veggie egg foo young, rice, two dumplings, and wine.
Day 25: a turkey and pepper jack cheese wrap w/lettuce, tomatoes and mustard, seltzer, 1/2 grilled cheese, fries, fried pickles, beer and wineless wine.
Whew, Day 26: wheat thins and hummus, chicken-free hot wings in a spinach wrap, chicken burrito, black beans and rice, two sweet plantains, three fries, wine, and a margarita straight up, leave the rocks at the shore.

Its been an exciting three days. Let me tell you about the fried pickles. I don't want to pretend that I am the first person in the world to have fried pickles, when in fact, I too, saw the episode of Jersey Shore when Snookie had fried pickles. They changed her life. They did not change my life. They were ok, definitely interesting.

The following has little to do with 4(40)0, but it is about food. I had the fried pickles with My Lovely, it was our 3rd year anniversary and it made them great. Real love is when You + Lovely = A Great Time. That's all I'm saying. I could have had anything to eat, sometimes it's the company you keep.

I just came back from having Mexican with my best friend and I am tired. Tomorrow I will be home on my own, so food will be scarce. I always eat very little when its just me. My homie may be coming back tomorrow, which usually means wine.....

I'm tired! I passed Yoga For The People on St. Marks today. I didn't realize that they run on donations. There is a suggested donation of $10, but you drop it in a metal box. There isn't anyone there actually counting to make sure everyone drops in a $10. That is so zen-like!

I think I'm going to try hitting that place twice a week. I just need my unlimited year metrocard, NYC DOE can you heeeeeeaaaaarrrr meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

I love me for losing, I'm on my way,


Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Day 23: Hmmmm


Usually the title of my blog has some tie in to the body of the blog, but today that is not the case. Honestly, tomorrow is the first day of school and I've been so busy today there is no time for creativity.

Thanks for being here. If you are reading this at nearly midnight, you either are one of those too cool for school parents who have it all figured out or you are child-free. Can I tell you child-free people, even if you don't have WILL BE AFFECTED TOMORROW and for the next nine months.

Planning is power.

Anyway! Today's weight was very dismal, I don't want to share.

Are you ok with that? Please be ok. If you must know, you can ask in the comments. I will answer. It was hurtful and I don't feel like writing the numbers and making them real. Denial, anyone?

Today I ate the following: yogurt, the last uber ripe banana, a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese, a serving of Wheat Thins, a can of sardines, 8oz ginger ale, two bbq'd chicken drumsticks, five onion rings, and a goblet of wine.

Now that I read it, I didn't eat that much.


I also see that I didn't eat any veggies. Can we count the onion rings? I really need to do some shopping.

I was actually presented with yet another pizza party, but I'd had my sardines, cheese and crackers, so I passed. I felt good. The pizza looked fabulous, but I'm pretty sure that today's dismal numbers were from yesterday's fabulous pizza and beer.

I still did not get on the No Joke. In lieu of that, I had to grab the WondaGirl and take her on some last minute shopping. We did a lot of walking, so I'm going to count that. I also did loads of housework today. If I really counted daily housework I would be able to claim some major calorie burning, but I'm way too sporadic.

Come to think of it, my workouts are sporadic too. Argh, moving right along.

Ah it is what it is.

My sweets...I have to bang out a few things before midnight, so I am going to let you go. Thank you for being here. I would like to talk to you about a few more things, but like I told you before, sleep deprivation does not do the body good.

I love me for losing, I'm on my way.


Monday, September 6, 2010

Day 22: Hustlin, Hustlin,


Here I am, blogging to you, well, well, are supposed to sing that. I'm singing it. It's midnight and I have to get to bed. Yesterday I went to a BBQ and I ate a whole lot.

It was funny because my plan was to eat just a little bit of everything. I did not plan to actually circulate the line more than once. That was my downfall. Its all good. It was the last BBQ of the season. Smooth sailing from here on in. The real ish is when I came home and decided that the day really went to hell.

The reason that line of thinking is bad is because you figure that you messed up, you might as well go hard. I went hard. I went hard at 10pm with an order of chicken wings and plaintains. I wasen't even that hungry. I just wanted it and had it.


Today I got up and I decided (once again) to get my ass into gear. I had some leftover coffee from yesterday and that was my breakfast smoothie inspiration.

1 whole ripe banana
1/2 cup coffee
1 cup 2%milk
1/2 cup oatmeal

BAM! Shakepalooza.

I went to help my friend Goodness paint her apartment. I had three beers, two slices of pizza, one gin and tonic and two shots of I don't know what.

At home I had a wonton egg drop soup, just the way I like it: heavy on the spice and scallions.

Now I am drinking all this water, in hope of washing out all the BBQ crap from yesterday. My plan was to get on the No Joke tomorrow at 5am, but as I look at the time, I realize that that will only leave me less than 5hrs to sleep.

No Bueno.

I will get up at 6:30 and hit the No Joke when I get home. tomorrow....yaaaa and was a great long weekend.

I love me for losing, I'm on my way.


Saturday, September 4, 2010

Day 20: What's heavier? My gut or this funk?


So today's weigh-in was 200 again. I did not even want to weigh-in. I put up the No Joke today, I will work out tomorrow morning.

Today's eating:
chocolate cheerios
turkey and muenster on a spinach wrap
multigrain spaghetti, sauce and turkey sausage
two bites of the mac and cheese that I made the kids
wine, easily a goblet

That is probably it. Its 9pm and I'm going to bed. I may have another glass of wine, but I doubt it.

I have so much on my mind. I am feeling like there is no one to talk to. This is a blog best for Lola Tuesday. I think I'll go over there now and just free proofreading, no spell check, just bang it out.

Then someone can teach me how to Dougie. Please don't.


Titanic is on, maybe it will clear this tear blockage.

I love me for losing, I'm on my way.


Friday, September 3, 2010

Day 19: Pulling Teeth


I'm sorry that I am the place where I don't feel like doing this. Blogging is great and therapeutic, but sometimes its lonely. Right now I am lonely. This is a funny kind of lonely-I'm happy to be by myself but I wish myself were a little more comforting. Does that even make sense? I'll never know, I guess.

So yesterday I was 199.5, and today 200. Yesterday I ate yogurt, sardines, 1/2 banana, wheat thins, seafood ravioli, corn bread, wine and pirate's booty.

Today I had one meal at Friday's: the Caribbean chicken sandwich with sweet potato fries. I had three Long Island Ice Teas. I also picked off my friends plates. I had a spring roll when I got home.

Yesterday I got my No Joke. Tomorrow or the next day I will set it up. My legs still hurt a bit from the canoe ride, so we will see.

There is no such thing as too much info, so you ought to know that part of my funk is due to my menstrual cycle.


I feel completely disengaged and uninterested in anything. This is not a new feeling, I've had it before. It may be new to you and I apologize.

The fact of the matter is everyone is entitled to a bad day and perhaps if the world wasn't so critical of individual FML days, we'd be happier.

I'm sorry, Friends. I really do like speaking to you, but I am speaking under a poor guise. I won't take up anymore of your time.

I'm just not here.

I am really sorry.

I will try to be more present next time. I love this blog and I don't want it to be forced.

Right now it is like pulling teeth.

I love me for losing, I'm on my way.


Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Day 17: How Lola Got Her Sea Legs (Not Back)



First the gritty...I am still or at least at this morning's weigh-in, 201.5. Yes I was very disappointed, but that was at 5:30am and I'm over it.

Today I went on a trust building retreat. It was great! It was my first one and though I was nervous; I really left happy. Unfortunately I was a little too hyped to think some of my words out, so I might have come off a little loopy. Damn. I don't think adrenaline is my thing.

Anyway..I'm still a little hyper, its 11pm and I'm hanging laundry, and whatnot, when I know damn well I should be asleep.

I could walk you through the trust building stuff but let's cut to the funny. I canoed today. That is a big deal for a number of reasons: the greatest being that I'm a chicken.

They asked us to line up in order of comfort and skill. I watch a lot of reality tv, so I raced to get at the end of the line, assuming that they would match me up with the beginning i.e. the expert. I was correct. I was matched up with a colleague who was a CERTIFIED LIFE GUARD AND SWIM INSTRUCTOR. OOOOOOWWWEEEE! The lighter person rides in the front and in this case that was me.

Knowing my weight and my height (TALL), you can imagine that she was an Amazon. It was great! My legs were all shaky but I felt so proud. She was a great leader and good at directing me. I never turned around to look her, see the bawk-bawk! At one point some genius started a game of tag. Trust me, you are no squirrel..its sounds nuts because it was.

My "safe" choice, to my surprise, was very, very competitive. Do you see where this is going?

The way the game is played, the ball gets tossed into a canoe, making that canoe "it". You've played tag before, so I'm not getting into it.

At one point we were fine because I kept distracted her with chitchat. This worked until someone tried to get the ball into our canoe and my partner decided to deflect the ball with her oar.

She did this without telling me.

She leaned over and the next thing I know

the canoe FLIPPED.

I say flipped because I ended up under it. Scary stuff.

Let me wrap this up...falling off a canoe while in the middle of a lake is funny. Getting back in said canoe while still in the middle of the lake is HYSTERICAL.
Getting back in said canoe while still in the middle of the lake AND enlisting four grown men is INNNNNNNNNNNSAAAAAAANNNNNE! (Crazy Eddie Style)

I'm laughing as I write this, but you should know that the AC is off and its 81 degrees you can imagine inside. I'm probably delirious.

Once your sides stop aching and you stop tearing, we will continue.


Back to business: Today I had a smoothie: 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup each of oatmeal, blueberries and pineapple, one cup of 2% milk, green tea extract and water. I didn't measure the water, I only needed to fill the cup. For lunch I had a soft chicken taco, a lil' bit of rice (prob 1/2 cup) and a couple of baked fries. Initially I took the rice until I saw the fries. I have not had dinner because I'm full and thekidsandihadicecreamconesvanillanosprinklesforme.


I'll be right back, I have to see if I can find my grocery receipt, since I have one known reader who actually is interested.

I will have to go on memory. The kids allegedly cleaned the kitchen and managed to toss it out. Yet they missed a straw wrapper.

I spent about $60. Most items were 3 for, 5 for...spinach wraps, lite yogurt, hummus, 2% milk, vegetarian eggs, microwave pizza (meat spectacular for them, veggie for me), lite wheat thins, turkey sausages, sliced deli turkey, provolone cheese, lite quik, lite pancake syrup, bagel thins (awesomeness), bananas, sardines, tuna fish, and coffee. I think that's it. Hell. I can't believe I remembered all of that. I used one coupon.

Holy Metabolife!!!!!!

It's almost midnight. I love that I forget that I've been up since 5:30 and that I need to be up at 6:30 tomorrow.

I could say more, but luckily we have tomorrow.

I love me for losing, I'm on my way.